Would you sympathise?

There is this old woman who sells tissue at Bishan MRT station every morning.
I never once bought tissues from her.
Yes she seems quite pitiful,
old woman, jobless, need money to survive.
But! I have my doubts.

Every morning, she will sit on a stool peddling a bag of tissues,
and say repeatedly in mandarin:
"Im an old woman with no money and no children.
Pls help me buy a set of tissues.
Wishing all of you good health."
Sounds good right?
Telling us the reason why we should help her,
and then w/o obligations, she wishes everybody good health.

Scenario 1
Then one day, I saw her eating a hearty breakfast.
You wud think she shud be quite poor and would be frugal,
hence wun spend so much on breakfast alone right?
Lunch or dinner, maybe...but breakfast?
She had this big packet of beehoon with 3 to 4 ingredients.
That's quite sumptuous for a tissue peddler.

Ok give her the benefit of doubt.
Maybe someone bought it for her.
Or she decides to indulge just for that one day.
Maybe it's her birthday.
Or maybe it's her first big meal in days.

Scenario 2
I saw her talking on...a handphone!
Nokia one.
She was chatting with someone on her hp while peddling tissues.
Prob no business so she was bored.
How can a poor old woman who got no money, no children,
and had to end up peddling on the streets...
own a hp???

Ok give her the benefit of doubt.
Someone bought it for her or gave it to her for free.
Or it was a borrowed hp.
I dunno, i cant think of anything else.
I suspect, she does have children.
Who paid for her hp.

Scenario 3
I got a shock one day when I saw her sporting a new hairstyle.
SHE had a new haircut and DYED HER HAIR!
Omg! Unbelievable!!!
How can anyone struggling to earn a living,
have the money or the extravagance to go colour their hair?

Ok give her the benefit of doubt.
She got the haircut and dye for free.
Some kind soul did it for her, or bought her a home kit dye.

But I still cant believe it.
I dun think i can come up with so many "benefit of the doubt" anymore.
I dun trust this old woman.
I feel that she is cheating the public.
It is not about not buying tissues from her.
(altho one set of 4 tissue packs costs $2..consider quite ex compared to supermarket)
It's about the principles.
How can you act all pitiful to cheat the public of their sympathy?
I dun agree with that.
I decided to never donate to such peddlers again.

The sweetest dream

I had a really good dream last Thurs night.
Wanna blog it down so that I'll rem it forever.

It was a dream where i fell in love.
And it felt so real and so good.

Altho it seems like a teenage girl fantasy,
I just like the feeling it gave me.
It made me smile for no reason at all,
and made me remember how it feels like when you first fall in love.

I was at Anfield in England, about to watch a Liverpool match.
Somehow I was able to get on the pitch and had photo opportunities with the footballers.
Many kids were crowding ard hot favourite Fernando Torres.
They look like poor kids who have won tickets to see the match.
Being a sweet kind girl, i offered to help them take photos,
and all the kids lined up obediently albeit excitedly for their turn.
So i was snapping away.
Snapping them and Torres.

He was looking at me with the softest, the sweetest and most "wen rou" (gentle) gaze.
He smiled at me ever so often, his bashful smile.
I felt a sugar rush.
I felt like i was falling in love.

Then it was finally my turn.
I asked one of the kids to help me and Torres take a photo.

Torres placed his arm ard me, and held me pretty tightly.
I cud smell him, the masculine yet sweet scent of his neck, his hair...
his cheek was against mine and we had our arms ard each other.
I felt a rush of warmth all over again,
electrifying jolts of excitment all over,
tingles of sweetness overcame me,
and i cudnt stop smiling.

The kid did a bad job initially.
So we posed many times so that the kid cud retake the photos,
each time just holding each other more,
teasing each other,
and finding different ways to show our affection.
Apparently, he fell in love w me too.

Then the match was about to start.
Instead of leaving me to play his game,
he pulled me to a quiet corner of the stadium,
where we played ard with the camera, and took more photos.
He even did my signature "V-ictory" sign with me as we posed.

Instead of playing his game, he wanted to be with me.
It really looked like we were very much in love
and all i felt was bliss and simple happiness.

Then he took me to the stands, and we sat down and watched the match.
He sat behind me on the stairs, w me leaning back against him,
and with his arms wrapped ard me.
I cud see every single freckle on his arm.
He was tall, so his arms were long.
N protective.
It felt protective.
N strong.
It felt good.
I felt safe in his embrace.

I love this feeling.
This feeling of falling in love.

I dunno why i dreamt of Torres, esp when my fave football player is Xabi Alonso,
altho Alonso is no longer in Liverpool.
Maybe secretly in my heart, Torres, from being a No. 2, has overtaken Alonso's No. 1 place in my heart.

When i woke up, i cudnt stop smiling.
The dream felt vivid and real.
I wish it was real.
I wanna make my dream a reality.

But reality is....
he just got married this year to his childhood sweetheart of many years.
N they just had a baby.
He is so devoted.
Im super attracted to devoted guys.
I love those shy and bashful guys too, yet talented and determined.
Like Torres..
A bit like Baby.
Maybe that's why i was attracted to Baby in the first place.

But Baby doesnt give me the "fall in love" feeling anymore.
It is now just "comfortable" type of feeling.

I wanna fall in love!
Like in my sweet sweet dream!

After the dream, Torres is no longer No.2.
He is now my No. 1 fave Liverpool player! Yay!

New look, new chapter

After a period of hiatus from my almost dead blog,
decided to revive it through a revamp.

New look with a sweet and simple pink Hello Kitty theme,
smthg that I've not done before but have been wanting to do
since I like Kitty so much, haha.

Have disappeared from my blog coz I have been too too busy with work!
Super loaded till I can hardly breathe or find time to do anything at all.

Will start afresh and try to blog more to capture the memories in my life.

Dear Diary...
I really miss you.
U are my outlet for bitching and expressing my thoughts.
I really enjoy reading all my past entries...
To look back and reminisce about my exciting younger days in future,
and share it with the next generation.

Super hyped up over Liverpool

8 years...and they are back!
My fave football club.
I rememebered 8 years ago when Liverpool FC was last here in Singapore,
I went to show my support and love for them at the National Stadium.
I was only 18 yrs old.

8 years later, I will be back there at the National Stadium cheering for them,
and having the chance yet again to see my fave players in action, LIVE.
Not on TV.
I bought the grandstand lower tickets,
and once agian hope to sit behind the Liverpool dug out
so that I can see them warming up in front of me!

I love Liverpool FC...with all my heart.
Words cant describe how excited I am to be able to see them again.

My only wish now is for my fave player Xabi Alonso so stay behind in Liverpool n not be transferred to Real Madrid.

Alonso, stay please!!!

You'll Never Walk Alone!

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Leaving on a jet plane

Im supposed to be flying in air now.
But im stuck in changi airport.
Supposed to fly off at 1.40am...
But my dumb flight is cancelled and they put us on another flight which is at freaking 4.15am!!!!

Im leaving for Italy and Switzerland for 2 weeks.
Bye folks.
Dun miss me too much. =)

Im so gonna eat grass when im back...
gonna go shopping and go broke.
But i like.

Oink Oink flu

Alamak. Stupid swine flu la.
Now I cannot go Switzerland or Italy already.
Coz Switz got one confirm case and Italy has 5!
So if I go, I have to seek approval to travel
and then be quarantined for 10 days from work when i return.
So troublesome la!

No more gg to the alps and shopping in Milan.

Change in plans, im now gg to Japan!
Deciding between the itineraries in Japan and departure dates now.
No prada, miu miu or gucci from Italy...so I shall go for Burberry blue label!
But hor, like not as nice n exciting as prada, miu miu or gucci leh =(
Neymind! Got HELLO KITTY!
N Jap make-up. N my fave RAMEN!
Shiok!

So sian,
Baby is gg to Japan end of the month for work from 23 to 30 May.
Den when he come back, my turn to go Japan during first week of June.
Crap.
We have no fate to go Japan together.
SIAN.
SADNESS.
Worse of all, we are gg to apart for almost 3 weeks!
*sob weep cry*

Im so busy at work in the day, and helping out with Baby's school work at night...
Im just so so so tired.
I need long long holiday!

Retail therapy

Retail therapy feels shiok.
I bought 2 skirts on Tuesday,
2 tops and 3 dresses on Saturday.

Feels so shiok.
But feel the pinch too.

I need to save hard if im gg to Switzerland and Italy this June.
Milan - fashion city.
Think im gonna spend a bomb there,
and come back as a bankrupt.
Gucci, Prada, Miu Miu, LV!
Gosh...
Im salivating alry.
N yes, Im surfing online to see what's the latest nice bag that I can buy when im there.

I need shoes too.

My bank account is shrinking rapidly.
Help!

I feel very very happy shopping.

Think - "Confessions of a Shopaholic".

Exhausted

Im really exhausted.
Feel burnt out from work.
Have been so busy, it's seems neverending.
No break at all.
Peak period all the way.
The only difference is whether it is peak period, or super peak.

I am the last to leave the office today =(

Everything is so so fast-paced that I can hardly breathe.
The expectations r so so high that I am desperately trying to reach it.

Sometimes i dunno why im doing this.
Money seems like the only reason most of the time.
I need the money to feed my fave hobby - travelling,
to meet my needs of shopping, eating and enjoying life.
But is it really worth the effort?

At the end of the day, no one appreciates you.
So why the fuck i wanna put in so much effort,
when i dun see the returns?

Today my boss received some feedback from
some of the business units we are supporting from the head of dept,
and she called a team lunch meeting to share w us.
The feedback wasnt really positive, and it seems like ppl just dun understand
and appreciate the hard work we put in for them.
They think Marketing is such a glamourous and airy fairy job.
Do you know the dirty shit we have to put oursleves into?
Just to make everything - all events, branding, advertising, campaigns, PERFECT for you?
N then you still wanna freaking complain about us?

I am really dis-illusioned after that.
My morale for the first time in this job, became pretty low.

I feel so tired,
sometimes i feel like giving up.
Maybe a simple life is the best form of happiness after all.
Maybe I shud just take a pay cut and take on an easy job,
stay less stressed up and happier.

I once read in a magazine, a quote that I've been keeping in my hp all this while:

Happiness is not about chasing fleeting moments of joy
but rather how to create the most meaningful life for yourself
by thinking about what you value,
and putting time and effort into these areas of your life.

I find this so so meaningful and it really got me thinking.
What matters most to me in life? What do I value?
Does the littel success in my job make me happy?
Arent they just fleeting moments of joy?
Coz the next day, the shit returns again.

What do I value most?
I value LOVE.
Love for my family, my future family, frens, people in need, for God.
So how can i put time and effort into these areas?
Firstly I have to give up money, to earn more time
so that I can put in more effort in taking care of my family and the house.
If I were to get married, I wud hope to stay at home more
to clean the house, cook, care for my husband etc.
But I wud still want a job, coz I will get bored.
I want to help others make their lives better.
But how to do that when im in a mess myself?
And then, I dunno if I can afford the good life that i want if I dun keep a good job.
Haiz, see?

Life is tough.
Life is a bitch.
Full of opportunity costs.

Then again,
Life is a gift from God.
A priceless experience.
There is just so much to explore and learn.
To prepare us for eternal life, where everything is perfect.

I have to keep reminding myself the purpose of life.

But it is the idiots in this world that make life miserable.
Who are these idiots?
Imperfect and greedy man, like you and I.
The world is like that coz we brought this all upon ourselves!
Why play politics? Why compete like shit?
Why do you wanna all step on each other to get on top of each other, only to find yourself being stepped on by someone else?
Arent you just making yourselves miserable?

I dunno what im talking about anymore so im gonna stop here.
I wonder if anyone knows what im trying to say.

Good Friday weekend

The supposedly long weekend is so super NOT long.
Just went by in a flash!
N then we r back to work this week.

Im so so so tired from working.
It's all so fast paced and hectic...im hanging by the thread!

Anyway had a really good time with Baby over the weekend.
Went to Gluttons Bay to have some good local food (was craving for that) on Good Friday after staying at home the whole afternoon.
Went shopping for shoes but there's nothing to buy...
seriously there r no nice shoes ard lately =(
Den we went home to watch our fave Russel Peters on dvd! =)
He is hilarious! Love his talk shows.

Sat was more happening...super tiring too.
Went to Paulaner Brauhaus to have a nice dinner to celebrate our 3rd year and 11 mths anni.
Yes it will be our 4th year next month!
N then we will be gg into our 5th year. Wah...so long liao...im so old.

Anyway i just love Paulaner.
It is a really cool and nice chill out place.
Organised 2 corporate events there last year.
We had dinner while watching football matches!
My fave Liverpool vs Blackburn,
and then Baby's fave Manchester United vs Sunderland.
Im really really happie when Liverpool won 4-0 just as I had predicted!
I was ALL SMILES.
N Baby seriously felt very threatened by Liverpool coz they r in close fight with Man U for the EPL title!

Den my smiles disappeared when Man U won 2-1 later in the night. SIAN.

Had this for dinner:

German fare - Crispy pork knuckles and german sausages with shredded onions and mash potato. It was delicious! But the portions were huge!


He had beer (0.5 litres) while I had the German Deinhard Riesling (really good!)
ooh! Wore my new GG>5 toga dress.



And then being really greedy and in need of a good drinking session, we had this huge mug of 1 litre Munich Lager. Drink until siao la!


Feeling super full with all that food and beer.



It's these kind of stuff that I like to do with Baby.
Simple pleasures in life.
Just going out, hanging out,
having our fave food and drinks,
chilling and watching soccer together, fighting over our favourite teams.
N best of all, Paulaner plays really good music, and have a really nice chill out live band.
It is now our new fave hangout place! =)
Paulaner should pay me for this kind of advertising im doing for them! Haha.

Anyway, we went to join my frens after that at Arena for some clubbing.
Havent been to club for a long time...4 months?
The last time I clubbed was in KL in Dec.
The last time in Singapore was in Oct last year =(

Anyway it was a pretty crazy night. we had more drinks at Arena.
BUt somehow i was getting sick of that place.
No longer a novelty.
Sian already leh.
N the deals there are getting worse and worse.
For gers, it used to be free flow till 1am, now become 12 am, for $28!
For guys, used to be free flow for $30, den cut down to 3 free drinks and 1-for-1, den now? $28 with 2 drinks only.
SUCKS!
The music and band is still pretty good.
But i think i wanna explore new place liao.

Gosh and I think im seriously getting old.
I was feeling so so slpy by midnight. Kept yawning!
N when i danced, i felt breathless after awhile...no stamina anymore!
N den my feet were aching.
So i was sitting down half the time.
I rather much enjoy the music and my drinks. Haha.

Nonetheless, still had lotsa fun.
Here are a whole lot of photos we took:

First photo we took when Baby and I reached. We all alry look so crazy.



This is smthg new to us. Ugly yellow wristbands to differentiate gers entitled to free flow till 12am.
SO STUPID.








Yanz was high liao...so funny.











Im getting old, getting old!
Coz I prefer to just chill and drink nowadays.
That's a sign of old age =(

I am so loved

Pastor told us a story at church yesterday.
A very simple but meaningful story.
I cant tell it as well as him, but here is roughly how it went.

There was a bus driver who was ferrying a bus of school-children back from school.
Suddenly the brakes failed as they were going down a slope.
The bus driver knew that at this rate that they were rolling down the slope,
they will prob all gonna die when it reaches the end.

As he knew the road well, having travelled the same route for so long,
he remembered that there is a large field somewhere along the side of the slope.
He thought of turning into this field which he was approaching
to break the momentum and speed of the bus.
The field can probably cushion the impact of the crash and bring the bus to a halt.
Without much time to think, he decided to do so as it was the only way to save the children.

As he approached the field and was about to turn in,
he saw a boy standing at the entrance of the field.
The bus driver only had a split second to decide:
to knock the boy over and save the bus-load of children,
or to avoid running the boy over by not turning into the field and risk the lives of the children on the bus.

In the end...he turned into the field.
The children were saved.

The parents rushed to the scene, searched and hugged their children,
all happy and relieved that they were safe.
The medics and reporters came.

Amidst the ongoings, the bus driver was stumped alone in a corner, isolated.
Someone asked "Why does he look so sad? He is a hero, he saved the children!"
A quiet answer came:

"The boy he ran over...was his son."

When I heard the last sentence, I felt a lump in my throat,
and my tears started to well up.

We were like the children on that bus.
God loves us so much that He gave us His only son.
He sacrificed His son for us so that we may live.
So that we are saved.

I felt very touched.
N undeserving.
I feel like I shud treasure my life more, as it was that important to Him.
He loved us that much.

With His love, I feel that my life is full of hope.
I know that He can make uncertainties certain.
He can take me out of my darkest moments, and help me face the future bravely.
Whatever darkness or uncertainties I sense before me,
I know my Lord will always be shining a light on me, providing me with a way out.
It is just whether I want to receive it or not.

I shall try my best not to worry about my future anymore.
N let Him provide for me.
For He loves me and has promised me.......

By His Grace, today I live.