It has been a struggle...

Im getting so tired of people asking me the same question.
Even my parents n bro ridicule me sometimes.
Shud I be affected?
Shud I be worried?
Shud I care about how you judge me?

Read this on Our Daily Bread today.

When our family went out for an ice cream cone, my dad would ask my mother what flavor she’d like. Often she would reply, “Surprise me!” She told me she was rarely disappointed in his choice.

Do you like surprises? Would you ever dare say, “Surprise me!” to God? A lot of us are a little scared to do that. Yes, we have faith that God is good and that He loves us. Yet we’re afraid we won’t like what He chooses for us.

Throughout the Bible we read that God delights in doing the unexpected. Sometimes it’s folding back the waters for His people to cross a sea on dry ground (Ex. 14:21-22). Or forgiving and embracing those who repent of their sin (Ps. 130:1-4). Jesus’ time on earth was filled with amazing events that pointed people to His Father—He turned water into wine, calmed storms, healed the sick, and raised the dead.

What kind of God do we serve? One who is not confined by our finite imagination (Eph. 3:20). God’s thoughts and ways are not like ours (Isa. 55:8), and He wants to bless us with far more than a special flavor of ice cream. He delights in His children who trust Him and are willing to say, “Surprise me, Lord!”
— Cindy Hess Kasper

O Lord, give me the grace to be
Content with what You give to me.
No! More than that, let me rejoice
In all You send me — it’s Your choice! —Anon.

Those who let God provide will always be satisfied.

Altho the Lord says that:
"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways.”—Isaiah 55:8
But yet im afraid of what the future may hold for me.
Day by day, im struggling to keep myself positive, and to keep my Trust in the Lord.
But skeptism, doubt and fear cant help but silently creep up upon me.

I am afraid to say "Surprise Me, Lord!",
Because as what Our Daily Bread says, altho we have faith that God is good and that he loves us,
more often than not, im afraid that i wun like what He chooses for me.
Yet I know that I have to accept and trust that it is the best for me.
Because God is a loving God who desires that we enjoy every single blessing that He has for us.
However, it is indeed a struggle.

Yesterday, I read in a book that:
"God says, 'I know what I am planning for you...I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you.I will give you hope and a good future.'
You may feel you are facing an impossible situation, but the bible says,
'God...is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes."

What a coincidence that I read this yesterday and
today read a similar message on Our Daily Bread
that seemed to conitnue from what i read yesterday.

It seems like a message to me that i shud hold on and
continue to be strong in my faith and trust in the Lord,
despite the numerous times i wavered and let fear and worry overcome my heart.

There is only one way out -
To follow Him, and let Him make things fall into place.
But that's the challeange!
Easier said than done.
It is not easy when you dunno where He leads, where He is bringing you to.

I just hope that it wun be long till I find what I am looking for...
till God execute His great plans for me.

Help me to hold my trust firmly in you Lord.